Karte An Unserem Hochzeitstag
I miss eCards. I do.
I’ll admit, I scoffed at them in my middle school years, but forgive me, please. That was a strange time when I didn’t appreciate heartfelt messages, but loved to chug Nesquik and read American Idol forums.
eCards were lame, I thought. Why did I need a birthday greeting from an army of trippy stars? Or a kind lizard saying he missed me? I wanted real cards: cards I could hold in my hands, remove the gift cards from, then forget about until my cat started chewing on the crumpled envelope days later. To me, a virtual card wasn’t a card at all.
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But I was wrong. eCards aren’t lame. They are economical, eco-friendly, and refreshingly sincere.
A video posted by 123Greetings (@123greetings) on May 13, 2016 at 2:55pm PDT
Yes, eCards deserve your love — even on Wednesdays.
Image: blue mountain
Since the eCard’s glory days, no better, more inclusive way to send silly online messages has emerged. And that’s a shame, because sending silly online messages is the key to enjoying the Internet.
In this post-post-post-post-post-Internet world, people, especially younger millennials, don’t necessarily expect their older relatives to connect with them online. In fact, the ‘rents are lambasted — sometimes unfairly — for being bad at the Internet.
You know: Dad accidentally tagged 63 people in his Facebook status about gardening. Grandpa signs all his posts, even though we already know it’s him. Mom’s profile picture is a wedge boot. Snapchat is out of the question entirely.
But the olds had a kingdom in eCards. Before Snapchat, before Instagram, before reaction GIFs, they were there, easy to send and ripe for the downloading. No one had to buy an app to send an eCard. At most, you had to, like, update your Flash Player or something.
eCards were there when I was in high school, distributing incredible Evites for the best, chillest slumber party of all time.
Yes, we ARE gonna play Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board.
Image: Media were there when my grandparents got a computer, and thus discovered animated fireworks.
A toast, anyone?
Image: Media were there when someone bungled an email address and accidentally sent me an invitation to their wedding. Congrats, Steph and Joe!
After a while, I realized eCards are pretty much like regular cards, except thousands of times better. No paper waste, no post office trips, no illegible handwriting. And in many ways, oddly, eCards end up being much more personal, especially in this dark web of terror we call the Internet.
Greeting cards are supposed to make the recipient feel loved, right? You want to send someone something nice because you like them.
But you don’t just up and send a paper card every time you think a positive thought. That’s not timely, unfortunately, and it’s definitely not convenient.
When Grandma sends you a nice set of animated fireworks in mid-April, or when you send so many dog cards to my friends that you’re temporarily suspended from the website (something I assume has happened to everyone), it’s not out of obligation. It’s not because of a holiday.
It’s because of luv.
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And then there’s the economics of it all. Sending eCards in lieu of paper invites, for example, should always be acceptable. Cards, envelopes, unoffensive stamps, calligraphy ink, a quill, probably: it all adds up. I want to send heartfelt pixels to my friends and family, and I don’t want them to think I am cheap or lazy.
Plus, not being able to afford paper invites is no reason not to have a party.
I am, to be sure, both cheap and lazy, but I’d still choose eCards every time. Besides, not all eCards are free. Some are $5 for 15, which, BTW, is a steal.
Happy Bastille Day from this dog.
Bonus: they’re eco-friendly. With eCards, I throw away zero paper, and I feel zero guilt. Instead, I feel green — but not with envy. Green like I recycled something.
eCards, I’m adrift without you.
Image: sloppy kiss cards
Yeah, sure, eCards are technically still around. If anyone wants to send someone a video of a celebrity shouting your loved one’s name, be my guest. But these phonies aren’t the eCards of yore, the eCards we should be sending. Every day. To me.
And I don’t doubt there are humans keepin’ the eCard dream alive today. Keep up the good work. The world needs more dancing kittens.
But for the rest of us, let’s face it: the Internet, while certainly a fountain of knowledge and awareness, is also full of mean garbage. That’s why the eCard’s breed of communication deserves a corner: a corner that’s sweet, simple and irresistibly sincere.
Feeling snarky? Here’s an eCard of a dog wearing glittery pink glasses. The dog is good and nice, and for a moment, so is everything.
A photo posted by American Greetings (@amgreetings) on Jan 27, 2015 at 11:12am PST
Come home, eCards. We need you.
Additional reporting by Nicole Gallucci
BONUS: 5 Internet-inspired cross stitch patterns to meme your home
Here come dat boi Cross stitch by @theandrearomano 📸: @tyleressary
A photo posted by Mashable Watercooler (@watercooler) on May 25, 2016 at 1:20pm PDT
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Karte An Unserem Hochzeitstag – card on our wedding day
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